I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT PROCESS THIS! I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! YES! YES! HALLELUJAH! IT'S OVER! EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

pass the mead

I AM DEAD INSIDE.

It's the kind of day where I could punch even Tom Hiddleston in the face. Everything is going wrong. Everything. But mostly, it was waking up to the news that this was going to be the final season of Merlin. I can't even... begin to... express... MY FEELINGS!!!!!!! I realize this is a TV show, but this is me and I'm devastated. Yes, I have watched to the interview with Colin Morgan (COLIN MORGANNNNNNN) assuring me that everything comes to its natural conclusion in season five, but... 

Confessions:

1. I actually started crying on the drive to work this morning. I could partly blame this on leaving home and the wave of emotion I'm feeling as NaNoWriMo tightens its grip (seriously, I am emotional enough with this alone right now), but... I just love this show. So much! I'm absolutely heartbroken.

My boyyyyyyys!!!!

2. I started watching Merlin when I was living in the bomb shelter in the middle of nowhere France. It was the darkest period of my entire life (and thus major inspiration for all of B's trials in my NaNoWriMo novel). I can't remember ever being so miserable or alone; honestly, it's something I try not to think about most of the time. At least the living in the bomb shelter bit. But in the seven solitary months I spent there, I became, I'll admit, irrationally attached to fictional characters. The first of these were the cast of Merlin. Somehow watching their struggles with magical beings, war-mongering kingdoms, and even each other gave me a sense of solidarity. But not only that, they gave me something to laugh about. It's not always the most serious interpretation of Arthurian legend, but it's certainly the most relatable. I laughed out loud every episode, cried here and there, swooned like mad... Nothing I say could ever do this series justice.

What am I supposed to do without my one and only knight in shining armor?!?!

3. I fell so hard for this show that I visited the set while they were filming season three. Once I found out some of it was filmed in France, that was it. Getting there in itself was a journey of epic proportions; it was nearly as difficult to get to as the bomb shelter itself. Seeing Pierrefonds, seeing Colin Morgan/Merlin's cheekbones up close and Bradley James/Arthur in his chainmail, made it all so real for me. It was magical and personal and finally put fiction where it belongs for me-in reality. 

I will miss your cheekbones and everything attached to them.

4. The flowy red capes I'm always pulling out smelling salts for on this show are so near and dear to me that when it came time to pick a color for the capes worn by the army in my own story... well... there was only one way to go!

5. Merlin/Arthur is the reason I love bromance. It is bromance at its finest. Period. Moments like this were always my favorite:

Honestly, I feel like something has died. I'm so sad, but so in awe of everything this show has accomplished. Thank you, Merlin, for five wonderful years of magic, courage, loyalty, adventure, knightly bromance, flowy red capes, dramatic slow-mo sequences, and chainmail. I will never forget you and your flawlessness. Or the chainmail. Leave me if you must, but I will never leave this round table.

Show me!

"Words! Words! Words! I'm so sick of words!" Tonight I'm watching My Fair Lady. It's one of those classics that makes me drop everything whenever it's on. Though, I must admit, it was an acquired taste. I first saw it back in high school and I just didn't understand why Eliza chose Professor Higgins over Freddy. It was high school, what else can I say? I needed everything spelled out for me.

One of my favorite numbers is "Show Me" when Eliza packs up her bags and leaves the professor's house. Her debonair young admirer Freddy has been waiting for her to make an appearance all night and immediately jumps up to woo her with words. But I have a new appreciation for this song because in my writing class we are constantly talking about showing versus telling.

"Don't talk of stars burning above; if you're in love, show me! Tell me no dreams filled with desire. If you're on fire, show me!" As I barrel on through this novel, this is something I have to keep reminding myself to do. Constantly. Don't tell the reader B is cold, show B's teeth chattering. Ha! If only every situation she was in was such an easy fix. 

Anyway, what I always missed in this movie when I was younger were the subtle hints showing us that Professor Higgins is in love with Eliza. One of my favorite examples of showing vs telling of this change of heart is when they first discover she's gone missing and Colonel Pickering calls Scotland Yard to file a report. He can't remember what color Eliza's eyes are and Professor Higgins, who's been eavesdropping from the next room over, comes back into the room over and over shouting, "Brown! Brown! Brown!" It's boatloads more effective than Freddy singing about generic birds and crumbling hearts. Now that I can tell the difference, "On the Street Where You Live" still makes me giddy, but it's "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face" that truly melts my heart. Here's hoping what I show my readers will have the same effect!

good things come in threes

Three things I love about today:

1. NaNoWriMo care packages. My friend Mariah, pen pal and soul twin, is the greatest! Since I've been running her latest movie score mix into the ground, she's hooked me up with a new one (wait, was this overnighted after yesterday's post?)! But that's not all! There's also Christmas music that I can start blasting to my heart's content on Friday and a book to read when this month is over. Hey November, please end so I can hang out with my awesome friend and plan mini breaks with our fictional boyfriends! Mariah, really, you're the sweetest and you deserve a certain delicious leprechaun on your arm at all times ;)

Legit dropped all the contents and screamed, "AH!" when I saw the Doctor!

2. World-building exercises in my writing class. These helped me see so many things I just never took a beat to think about that are actually terribly important. Oops! I focused on the world in my NaNoWriMo story, finished a bit early, and doodled my protagonist rather than figuring out what the answers to some of those questions should be. And since I'm terrible at keeping secrets, here she is! 

Oh, B, I'm sorry for all I'm about to put you through...

That's the only sneak peek you'll get till further notice!

3. Remember the dragon story I wrote? Well, I had it critiqued in class tonight. I was so nervous going into it because everything I've submitted for this class has been YA. But I received some really positive feedback, constructive criticism, and, best of all, a note from my teacher saying to submit it for publishing after editing... AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NEVER GOING TO SLEEP TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, I'm off to type madly and blast Michael Bublé's "Georgia On My Mind," because I AM GOING HOME TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!