Downton Abbey 3x4

Let it be known that it took several tries to write this post as I kept. on. crying...

• False alarm, everyone! Sybil's fine and Branson's beautiful and darling and...! (smelling salts +1)
• Is it just me or does Mary seem rather tight-lipped when Cousin Matthew brings up children? My queen, what is wrong with you?! (brass knuckles +1)

Oh newbie Jimmy. You've still got that poster-child-of-Cheerios look, but I could read you like nutritional facts.

• Listen O'Brien, I don't mind you plotting against Thomas, but not when newbie Jimmy is involved! Because he and I are involved! (brass knuckles +2)
• Apparently Mary is dying to start a family right away! I take it all back, my queen! (smelling salts +2)
• She then proceeds to promise Sybil that she will stick up for Sybil's baby being Catholic. Anything for my our the Irish husband, am I right?! (smelling salts +3)
• HOW IS THIS B-AS-IN-BATHROOM-BREAK BATES PLOT LINE STILL STEAMING ALONG?!?! SUICIDE CONSPIRACY OR NO, I DECLARE THIS SHOULD HAVE TORPEDOED AAAAAAAAAGES AGO! (brass knuckles +3)
• Mrs. Crawley hires Ethel despite her tarnished past. Mehhhhh yayyyy second chances! (smelling salts +4)
• Why does this prison guard even care whether Bates gets out or not? I certainly don't care to having him wasting my time when my Irish husband's baby is on the way! (brass knuckles +4)

Downton Abbey 3x3

Let's just rip the band-aid and get it over with, shall we?

• Oh boy! Downton Abbey! I can't wait--- arrrghhhhh!!!!!! Starting off the show with B as in bathroom break Bates not getting letters from Anna. *this is my sour unimpressed face* (brass knuckles +1)
• And Anna's had no letters from Bates. We all know this is FALSE, but I'm feeling they're going to drag out this dramaaa for the entire episode. (brass knuckles +2)
• I'm still not over it... Cousin Matthew, it is so sexy how you gave the money to Downton! (smelling salts +1)

It must be such a trail, Edith, to look at Cousin Matthew while you eat breakfast!

• Edith can't have any breakfast in bed, BECAUSE SHE'S SINGLE! Girlfriend does not understand the freedom that is never changing out of your PJs and eating every meal in bed when there's no one around to judge you. (brass knuckles +3)
• Lord G insists on having more of Cousin Matthew's input on the management of the estate. Daw. (smelling salts +2)
• Thomas is mean to the sweet ginger from War Horse. AGAIN. (brass knuckles +4)
• I'm... confused... I hope... I'm confused... Mary... doesn't want to have Cousin Matthew's babies?!?! (brass knuckles +4)
• Violet tells Edith she can't be so desperate as to need to start gardening. "Edith dear, you're a woman with a brain and reasonable ability. Stop whining and find something to do!" You tell her, Vi! (smelling salts +3)

Downton Abbey 3x2

First off, I should just say that it's taken a lot for me not to go ahead and start with 100 points for brass knuckles on this episode. I mean... we get to see Edith's wedding, but not golden-hearted Sybil's? Do I need to write the fan-fic myself?!

• We open with Edith delighting in the fact that an event at Downton Abbey is actually revolving around her. UGH. EDITH. Enough with the inferiority complex! (brass knuckles +1)
• Thomas starts stirring trouble for O'Brien by telling the witless Moseley he should contact his relative about applying for her position when it opens up. (brass knuckles +2)
• No, Lord G! You cannot move to Downton Place! (brass knuckles +3)
• Witless Moseley shows us why he's witless by asking Lady G if he can put up his relative's name for O'Brien's soon-to-be-opening position. OF COURSE YOU'VE SPOKEN OUT OF TURN, WITLESS MOSELEY! This character. I'm not usually like this, y'all. I don't even hate the guy. But I'd truly like to tape "kick me" to his back. (brass knuckles +4)

PDA! PDA! PDA!

• Um... Pardonnez-moi, but do you see Sybil and Branson hand-holding in the background during this convo?! (smelling salts +1)
• ENOUGH, COUSIN MATTHEW! (brass knuckles +5)
• Old Man is such a womp womp next to Lord G's already-son-in-laws Cousin Matthew and Branson. Yuck. (brass knuckles +6)
• L-o-v-e how Violet asks if Old Man will be able to keep up with Edith! Listen, I know I'm a little hard on Edith and her Old Man, but I do feel somewhat entirely justified as Violet shares my opinion. (smelling salts +2)

The Lizzie Trap & PROXIMITY

Can I just talk about the most recent episode of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries for a sec? CAN SOMEBODY JUST HOLD ME?! It was only the last episode that we finally met Darcy's little sister Gigi aka insta-fictional-BFF. Despite all of Lizzie's anti-Darcy gusto in the past, Gigi seems to be shipping her with her big brother just like the rest of the fandom. So thank you, Gigi! Thank you for this:

 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDKLFJSLKDFJSLJLSKDJFSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was not prepared! I was not prepared! Sure, it was bound to happen sooner or later given Gigi's entrance into the story, but... AH!

OMG! ZOMG!

As soon as this happened, I was breaking out the smelling salts. Then... wait for it...

There he was! After a seventeen episode hiatus! Hallelujah, the much-missed awkward-turtle-ness has returned! First off, they can barely look at each other at the same time. But in a good way! Particularly Lizzie's up-down at 3:50. That moment just scah-reams that her feelings are "quite the opposite." And the episode was overflowing with my favorite thing... PROXIMITY!

Darcy just kept leaning in closer and closer. But was that line about the hills in the city being unforgiving just to show how similar he and the insta-likable Gigi are or a clue that he watched last week's episode? I don't know, but I like it! They're obviously stiff and uncomfortable, but their eyes are FULL OF SOFTENED FEELINGS! Haha. And then of course...

THE MOST PROXIMITOUS OF ALL THE PROXIMITIES!!!!!

THERE WAS THIS MOMENT! It was over almost before it began, but... AHHHHHHHHHHFDKLFJSLDKFJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could not stop squealing! I can't applaud these webisodes enough. Back when they started in April, having the advantage over her of knowing how the story goes, it was easy to dismiss Lizzie's rants about Darcy. But when he finally made an appearance in episode 59, her opinion suddenly made sense. He wasn't insta-likable. And for once I really got a good understanding of Lizzie's frame of mind. This week was episode 78. And it's taken that long for me to warm up to this guy. Just like her! And it's so refreshing to see the way it's played out so far. Tiny moments hinting at a changed opinion stitched together with missed glances and awkward pauses. I love it! I love it! I love it! Can't wait to see more of them together on screen!