Downton Abbey 3x1

With Downton Abbey starting again, I just can't help recapping the episodes like I used to. So here we finally come to the moment we've all been waiting for, Cousin Matthew and Mary's wedding!

• Violet standing up for Branson. Could she be any more perfect? (smelling salts +1)
• IT'S THE SWEET GINGER FROM WAR HORSE! (smelling salts +2)

Whatever you say, Cousin Matthew! YES!

• This honeymoon talk between Mary and Cousin Matthew is spicyyyyy!!!!! (smelling salts +3)
• What?! The money for Downton Abbey is gone? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! (brass knuckles +1)
• Oh here we go. AGAIN. It's Edith and the Old Man! (brass knuckles +2)
• A lesson in the virtues of the English. (smelling salts +4)

You sly thing.

• COUSIN MATTHEW IS LOOKING FORWARD TO ALL SORTS OF THINGS! (smelling salts +5)
• HELLO, BRANSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (smelling salts +6)
• But Mr. Carson's not helping Branson... (brass knuckles +3)
• Oh no!!!! Awkward turtle dinner upon Branson and Sybil's return. (brass knuckles +4)
• How Branson goes downstairs to see all the other servants! *heart-clutch* (smelling salts +7)
• Daisy, Daisy, Daisy... Stop heckling Mrs. P! Will you ever not be a nuisance?! (brass knuckles +5)
• Which is why I love it when Mrs. P asks if she's swallowed a dictionary! (smelling salts +8)

PROXIMITY! PROXIMITY! PROXIMITY! PROX-IM-I-TYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Did my fortune cookie just say, "Sybil and Branson"? Because they are IN BED! TOGETHER! PROXIMITYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (smelling salts +9)
• Cousin Matthew! "Now come and kiss me!" Ahhhhhhhsdkfljdsflskj!!!!!!!!!!!! (smelling salts +10)
• All my creyesssssss!!!!!!!!! Lord G is crying! Has Thomas just stabbed me? This is so painful to watch! (brass knuckles +6)

EeeeeeaaaahhhhhdflkjsflskjlK!!!!!!!!!

• And a BROMANCE is born between Cousin Matthew and Branson! "We're brothers-in-law with high-minded wives. We better stick together." Ugh! (smelling salts +11)
• THE OLD MAN IS TOO OLD FOR YOU, EDITH! GOSH. (brass knuckles +7)
• Thomas refusing to help the sweet ginger from War Horse. Get your gas mask ready, Thomas. (brass knuckles +8)
• "along w/ my manners" - BOO YA, BRANSON! (smelling salts +12)
• Branson deliciously disheveled at the dinner table, but I'm too distracted by his raging drunkenness to really appreciate it! (brass knuckles +9)

He's a journalist, not a chauffer, you half-witted scum bag!

• But-- *gasp* Mr. Grey drugged him! HE DRUGGED MY IRISH HUSBAND! (brass knuckles +10)
• But it doesn't matter to starry eyed Cousin Matthew who asks my raging-drunk-due-to-drugging Irish husband to be his best man! AND I AM FEELING ALL THE FEELS! (smelling salts +13)
• Luckily I'm floating too high off the ground to care that Edith kisses the old man, but it doesn't make me float any higher either. (brass knuckles +10)
• Bates and his inmate. Ughhhhhh. Over it. (brass knuckles +11)

"Please take off your coat." Saucy Violet gets straight to it!

• When Violet asks Branson if he's "quite finished" after his rant about suits. (smelling salts +14)
• Branson and Sybil HOLDING HANDS! I can't get used to them being affection in public!!!! (smelling salts +15)
• Mary! Do not speak to me of "all things being permitted" in 2.5 with you and Cousin Matthew! We are already on the jealousy wagon! We are already living vicariously through you! (smelling salts +16)
• LAVINIA'S GHOST IS STILL RUINING ALL THE THINGS. (brass knuckles +12)
• BATES. Did you know that the B in Bates stands for bathroom break? It's the latest rage! (brass knuckles +13)

I said I liked her dress, not her expression!

• Edith's wearing a dress that I... like! THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED!!!!!! (smelling salts +17)
• Violet sent the money for Branson and Sybil to come to the wedding?! Ahhhhhhhhskldfjsldkfjsljf!!!!!!!!!!!!! (smelling salts +18)
• Branson volunteers to go talk to Cousin Matthew about Lavinia's life-ruiner ghost. This wedding must go on! (smelling salts +19)

"Never mind what I call her. I know what I'll call you if you let this chance slip through your fingers."

• And then Cousin Matthew and Branson HAVE A MOMENT over brandy! I feel like this is the photo definition of what I want in a Saturday night! (smelling salts +20)
• Mary's door swings open and BEST MAN AND IRISH HUSBAND BRANSON IS THE HERO WHO HAS BROUGHT COUSIN MATTHEW TO MAKE AMENDS! (smelling salts +21)
• Cousin Matthew needs to kiss Mary before beddy-by. (smelling salts +22)
• It's wedding morning! But the only thing I'm registering is DAPPER BRANSON! (smelling salts +23)
• Lord G calls Branson "Tom." FAMILY FEELS!!!!! (smelling salts +24)

My fictional bestie!

• Sybil's parting words to Mary are everything that earned her the nick name Golden-Hearted Sybil. (smelling salts +25).
• Aaaaaand Edith carves her own path towards being a tool. (brass knuckles +14)
• Mary comes down the stairs in her wedding dress and she and Mr. Carson have a moment. (smelling salts +26)
• Is this Mary and Cousin Matthew's wedding or have I switched to the coverage of Kate and Wills' wedding?? It's still on my DVR, so it's entirely possible! (smelling salts +27)
• Branson giving Cousin Matthew a good-luck pat before Mary comes down the aisle. (smelling salts +28)

*le sigh*

• "I should hate to be predictable." Mary, my queen! (smelling salts +29)
• Cousin Matthew. How could you be a "common criminal" for taking Lavinia's father's inheritance? You are unique! You are special! You are a Victorian snowflake! (brass knuckles +15)
• Mrs. Hughes can't be sick! (brass knuckles +16)
• Apparently I now have a pile of fortune cookies because now Mary and Cousin Matthew are IN BED! (smelling salts +30)
• And then Edith's ruthless in her pursuit of the old man. Womp, womp. (brass knuckles +17)
• Violet saying she "should hate" to go to America. I'm not even offended, you ball of fire! (smelling salts +31)

Poor sweet ginger from War Horse. 

• Thanks to Thomas' misguidance, the sweet ginger from War Horse burned holes in Cousin Matthew's jacket. (brass knuckles +18)
• Did the world stop spinning? O'Brien made a joke! About Cousin Matthew! Without clothes! AND I LAUGHED! AT O'BRIEN'S JOKE! (smelling salts +32)
• Ha! Take that, old man! Lord G's telling you to stay away! (smelling salts +33)
• I'm going to make Mary's line my new motto for just about anyone I see fit. "Stop talking and kiss me before I get cross." (smelling salts +34)
• Even the sweet ginger from War Horse gets a kiss! I'm rooting for this guy! Even if he is related to O'Brien. (smelling salts +35)
• Nothing like a break-up via calligraphied letter to start Edith's morning off right. Goodness knows I'm not upset. But she's annoying. (brass knuckles +19)

Edith! Stop giving middle children a bad name!

• She continues to throw a hissy in front of her elders. Because that's how we show them we twenty-somethings are old enough to make life decisions! (brass knuckles +20)
• O... M... G... When Violet mistakes Lord G for a waiter. (smelling salts +36)
• Bahaha! The look on Violet's face when American g-ma starts serenading her! (smelling salts +37)
• Yuuuuuuuuuck!!! Now Edith and the old man are engaged??? (brass knuckles +21)
• Bates is bullied. Then he bullies. Ugh. Over it like a hipster. (brass knuckles +22)
• Dawwww!!!!!! *heart-clutch* When Mr. Carson tells Mrs. Hughes that even though he's crabby, he's on her side! (smelling salts +38)

Brass knuckles hardly put up a fight this round! A measly 22 against smelling salts' gargantuan 38. So many FEELINGS, so little time! Oh Downton Abbey! Shouldn't you be called The Branson and Cousin Matthew Swoon Fest? Then we can celebrate the best bits and cut out wet blankets like Edith and Bates. I lobby for more fortune cookie scenarios! For England! For the good of the people! For my eyes!